Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
