I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
