I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
