why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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