Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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