I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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