I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
