You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
