I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
