i think my mom watched the whole time
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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