Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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