HIV tests are more positive than that guy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
