You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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