me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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