your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize