I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize