also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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