I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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