I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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