I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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