Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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