If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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