I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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