youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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