The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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