on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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