Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
