Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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