I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
