Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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