he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
