Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Found the puke drawer
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
God, I missed his penis.
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