Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
