when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
