dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
