why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
