I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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