my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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