i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
