I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
