dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
