Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
