she woke up with a sticky ear
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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