At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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