tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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