She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
