he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
