she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
