PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize