it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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