id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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