We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
