Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
