I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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