Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
