yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
