Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
