I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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